Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The News

Wow the last couple of weeks in South Africa have been really exciting, things have been really crazy and I couldn't resist saying something. In no specific order: Gareth cliff had an unconventional beauty pageant, someone painted our presidents penis, someone painted over the presidents penis, able bodied world record holders are scared of a runner that has No legs, Facebook fared horribly on the stock market, taxis in Durban are the law, diablo 3 was released, awb leaders killer was sentenced and those are just the highlights.
Can you see where I'm coming from? Right let’s try and address each one. Gareth cliff had a pageant to highlight people’s unique talents. One guy had 3 nipples and another had acne. The girls were better. One could lick her elbow, one was flexible, one could whistle classical music and the winner could make her shoulder blades pop out. In the end though there were two female winners. I don't know why.

Next up some pretty much unknown artist called his painting “The Spear” and everyone in the whole of South Africa took major offense to it. Well not everyone, it was totally polarized though. People either loved it or hated it, but everyone has an opinion. I don’t know why there was so much controversy, but apparently all you have to do to become famous is provoke someone famous.  Well the painting was sold for a whopping R136000 which is not a bad amount.

I hear the artist is in hiding, but then again, with the mentality of the majority, I would probably also fear for my life. Then yesterday, two people walk into the gallery at the same time and start defacing the painting. First a white professor, walks in with a tin of paint and a paintbrush into the heavily secured gallery (yeah right) and leisurely walked to the painting and brushed a red X over the face and genitals.

Then while all the security guards (1 guard) were busy with professor/activist another guy, a black teenager, walks up to painting and starts rubbing black paint all over the whole thing. It literally takes a few minutes for the whole security firm (1 guy) finds him and apprehends him. He does then very nonchalantly head butt him and drop him to the ground.

Only opinion I can honestly give about that is that I wish I had bought the painting. I think it’s worth a lot more than what he paid. Damn Germans. Next up, the current Olympic 400m champion is scared of Oscar Pistorius, the well-known South African blade runner, essentially a guy with no legs. I know right, how vulnerable must you be to fear Oscar. Silly boys.

Ha, Oscar changing his "shoes" - insert sloppy joke about running legs.

Facebook listed on the stock exchange, and wow, it did hideously, like, super horrible, it’s kind of like people were expecting this massive boom and rushed in and then sold immediately. Now it’s down in the dumps. They have been trading for 2 days, and it is almost worthless. The started trading at $38 and as of last night are down to $32.

Apparently, taxis in Durban went on a violent strike last week and demanded that they don’t get fines anymore, and that the R3.1 billion they owe in fines get scrapped. Oh and of course they are also not allowed to be pulled over by White or Indian cops. Can anyone say Racist Alert? But its ok, because you know, they are taxis and are above the law. They also want no policing in peak traffic times. Just to sweeten the whole deal it has been unofficially confirmed that cops are now avoiding taxis in Durban, because some association made threats to “Handle” cops that pull them over. Only in South Africa.

Diablo 3 was released, I would tell you all about it but error 37.

Also, Eugene Terreblanche, who was the AWB leader was murdered in 2010. This week the sentence was passed down that the accused is guilty. Exciting stuff hey. Ok that’s enough for this week. Rant over.


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