Monday, August 1, 2011

I need to get myself one


In life there are many things which every person likes, and then there are things that are gender specific that everyone should have. 

For instance if you are a woman you should own eye liner and more than one handbag. For men it's very different. This weekend I decided on a few things every man should have.

A go-cart. The most fun you can have on the smallest wheels. Wow. I was cruising around that track like it was nobody’s business. I know I looked like a retard trying to fly around the track but I felt like I was Michael Schumacher racing in the f1 final.

Secondly every guy should own a drill, a punching bag, a very sharp knife, a useless instrument and at least one knife that can be used as a screwdriver. You know, the kind of knife where the front part is all messed up and twisted.

Men should also all own at least one roll of single ply toilet paper, because we can handle it. Other things on the list include a huge carving knife, a shaky ladder, a shoddy couch, at least one porn dvd and a whole stack of useless books.


There are many things we should all have, but for now, these are necessity, next up on the menu is about that awkward moment. It’s a saying that lets you think about awkward situations.

That awkward moment when :

someone asks if your hair is wet, but it’s just that dirty.

you try to rotate a square whilst playing tetris.

you’re talking about someone and you realize that they’re right behind you.

you are singing happy birthday but you don’t know the name of the person so you just mumble at the name part.

you’re helping a friend setup ‘google +’ and they drag you into acquaintances.

you’re walking out of a room like a model and your bag hooks on the door handle.

you learn something neat in class, and try to share it with a friend later, only to remember afterwards that he was in the class with you.

Bruno Mars can’t catch a grenade for you because he’s having a lazy day.

 

That’s all folks. That’s a wrap. Fin. The end.

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