Thursday, July 21, 2011

Things women do

Of late it has become very apparent to me that there are so many things that the women of today do that they think makes them the hottest stock on the market at the moment, today I have the pleasure of dispelling those urban myths for you.

With my intricate knowledge of woman and my natural desires as a man I will make you all the perfect women, if you heed my advice that is. Right so each and every man has a different preference in looks for women. Some men like a lot of junk in the trunk where other want it to be a tiny trunk which is tight. Some men are drawn to women with big chests and others like them medium to small.

Hair colour is also important as well as personal grooming but with all that even if you don't conform to any of a man’s preferences you can still get him. That’s right you can still get him if you just adhere to a few of these listed no-no’s.

* Poofy hair to the extreme of snooky from jersey shore
* Spice girl shoes or any equivalent are out
* Baggy jeans should never have been invented, yet you find some women wearing them
* Make up that looks like it was applied with a paint roller, we would rather have slightly flawed than perfect make up
* Cosmetic surgery is also out of the question, we need to know that you have facial expressions
* Smoking - some men can live with it, but no one imagines their ideal partner with a cigarette in hand
* Excessive swearing is not necessary, if we wanted to a sailor, we would go find one
* Nasal talking - it doesn’t make you fancy, just a lot less desirable
* Not being able to cook isn’t modern, its lazy. Learn it!
* Fake nails – we don’t care if its French tips or Asian mongoloids, you look like a pornstar
* Glitter – if you aren’t a stripper you shouldn’t be using it
* Anything bedazzled

So if you were doing any of those to get a man, you should seriously reconsider. There are also things that men don’t notice that you think we do, like matching underwear, or wearing a black bra with a white shirt. We don’t notice if you haven’t washed your hair today, or haven’t shaved your almost non-existent leg hairs in the last 12 hours.

Think about what you are doing and maybe, just maybe, you can get yourself a guy that doesn’t treat you like a dog, or an object.

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