I remember it as clear as day the first time I heard about 3D movies, I was ecstatic that they would be coming to a cinema near you. I imagined myself sitting in the cinema with these cardboard glasses with one blue eye and one red eye.
Fortunately when I went to experience my first 3D movie, much to my surprise it was a sleek black framed pair of glasses with polarized lenses and not the usual red and blue. Ok they weren't so sleek but I felt really important with them on.
Now stop judging but the movie was Avatar, by James Cameron, and Wow what a movie it was, I caught myself blowing wood chips off my shoulder after the mother tree burnt down and ducking for the bombs that were being thrown around on screen.
It was love at first experience; I almost vowed to myself that I would watch as many 3D movies as possible. Time went by and an opportunity arose, Clash of the titans in 3D. I'd seen the trailer and I couldn't wait. I got to the cinema and gave out 3 times the normal amount of Jew gold than for a normal movie.
But it was easy to convince myself it was money well spent. That was until I was 15 minutes into the movie. Disappointment rained down on me like a kid finding out his dad is Santa. It was flat and pointless and I couldn't understand for what I had given out my Jew gold.
After some intense reading up I found the problem in small print at the bottom of the page. “This movie has been digitally converted to 3D for your viewing pleasure.” What a load of utter crap. It should have read “We did nothing extra but showed it in 3D to line our pockets a little bit more.”
Then several months later having almost forgotten my disappointment I tried again, The last airbender in 3D. It was a rush decision and I regretted it for many days to come, it was also digitally converted, whatever that means.
To this day I haven't seen another 3D movie in fear that it might destroy it for me. Thank you social fat-cat corporate a-hole's for turning me against something that could have been a beautiful symbiotic relationship of me paying to watch your movies and not pirating them. Oh Well.
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