Monday, June 20, 2011

What If Week - Day5- Bonus - Talking Animals

What would they say? And how would they sound? Would all animals sound the same or would they have accents? Or would they sound like the stereotypes that they represent in people.

For instance, would a lion really talk like a king? All distinguished and high class. Or would the giraffe talk like most tall people, a bit slow and very deep?
Would hyenas talk like drunk hobo's and always be begging for left overs? How about weasels? Would they sound like salespeople and tell you any lie to get you to buy it?

Or how do you think an elephant would talk? Maybe like a fat kid with a high pitched voice? And rats, i think they would sound like the Italians, greasy and sly.

Mosquitos would definitely have a squeaky voice, to go with their terrible incessant buzzing. Ants would be a monotonous single tone like many British people on the subway. Grizzly bears would sound like angry irish men, all burly and drunk.

I do think all fish would sound like whales, like fat people, so all fish would be American then I suppose? Talking like they are in a bubble and believing the world only exists under the sea, and with the memory span of a goldfish. 

Birds would be elegant, like royalty, or Shakespearean, la di da, and where for art thou. However some birds would sound like those English people from Manchester, or guys from the westrand in Johannesburg,  they would be the Hadedas and vultures of this world. ‘Like, Yeah Bru, I was pumping the pecs in the gym hey, blasting my tris’s, yeah hey like sweet huh.’

Cats would be annoying and talk in shortened teenager sentences. "I Can Haz Herpez". They would be the annoying yuppies of the current day, like teenagers.

There are so many possibilities, and as with the theme for this whole of last week, what if means it could happen, but probably won't anytime soon.

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