Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The word random

An adjective. It means irregular or without plan. However it is now widely used for all the wrong reasons. It is an adjective not a verb. Which means it cannot be the doing word in the sentence.

You cannot be random. Random isn't a sentence all on its own. He's a word that likes to have other words around him. He also likes having parties and long walks on the beach. He enjoys a nice glass of wine in front of a wood fire.

He is a very passive word and doesn't enjoy being alone. Ok so if random was a person he would be a pretty boring person. But the point is that random isn't a sentence. There are however many more words that, like random have been used abused and de-intellectualized. For example the word epic.

And also not forgetting wicked. These two words have been so traumatised by the youngins of today that I bet they will not even know what their real meanings are. Did you know that wicked means evil and sinful and not rad, awesome, sweet, amazing or well executed.

Are you shocked you degenerate little kids? Did you know that the original meaning of epic was “noting or pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero, in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style”. That's right kids.

It doesn’t mean wow or OOOO or whatever. Poems can be epic, not your insignificant skateboard jump which took you 400 hours, 3 broken bones and 17 pairs of shoes to learn. That was mediocre at best, and pointless in the end. 

How are your “mad skateboard skillz” going to help you when you end up at your dead-end, mind numbing, mundane average job where you will be underpaid like everyone else, but you will always say you give more than your best, when actually you are to lazy to work and sit day-dreaming about new ways to hurt yourself with a skateboard and your pipe dream of being famous. 

You have just been schooled by an appreciator of the English language.  

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