Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Why I would never do crime

Prisons are scary and dangerous, and gay. Being a pretty boy would not help very much when in prison. The guys in there spend most of their days working out, exercising and getting fit, mostly because they can either do that, or read, and let’s face it, if you are in prison for grand theft auto and murder you probably aren't a very big reader.

While taking a shower in my comfortable home the other day I dropped the soap twice and suddenly thought 'geez I would make a very burly man very happy if I were in prison' and since that day I've taken note of how often I drop the soap and it's a scary amount of times. My hands would basically betray me in prison. And that is something I would like to never experience.

Somehow the warm touch of a big hairy man’s embrace does not really appeal to me at all. Also I don't think I would be able to defend myself against a man that works out 16 hours a day and does hard labour on his off days. Those guys are like tanks.

Then you also have to deal with gangs, gang murders and riots. Then another thing that would really get me is the food. Slop, Slosh and mush is not generally part of my diet and definitely not one of my favourite treats. Cabbage stew also really doesn't appeal to my taste buds.

All in all what I'm trying to say is that if you have no morals or values and you are considering doing something horribly illegal then you should just think five steps ahead to where you want to be, because inevitably you will get caught, and go to prison.

Once you have been there you will never be able to fart the same way, you will have a few stab wounds, you won't be able to sleep properly at night because of all the things you have seen and you will almost certainly never ever get a Good job. That only happens in the movies. In real life you will be the lowest on the social food chain.

1 comment:

  1. then there's all that time you have to spend with lawyers.. eugh