Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Stuffy noses cracked lips and dry skin

This is clearly a follow up article on how much I love winter. Because for all the Good of winter there is some bad. Correct, every yin has some yang, or so I hear.

How do you know it's the middle of autumn and winter is fast approaching? No not by the leaves turning brown or the grass becoming very dry. Nor is it the fact that in the mornings it feels like the Dead of winter but by Eleven you are back in summer.

Nope, none of the above, the big tell-tale sign, dry lip's. Sad, I know but you will notice that towards the middle of autumn everyone starts using more lipice, lipbalm and lipgloss. Also lots of people have dandruff and dry patches of skin.

So the image I'm creating here is a guy putting on lipice, brushing off his dandruff and then scratching his dry skin, reaching for his handkerchief and blowing his nose. Right around this same time you are also bound to touch At-least three hands a day that have rubbed a snot nose, just waiting to infect you.

“How is it Ok to wipe your nose with your hand and then greet people with that hand, knowing you will be giving them your germs. Dammit you selfish porker. Get a hanky or a tissue or toilet paper or use your sleeve or anything but for the love of all that is sane don't wipe it with your hand.”

It’s unhygienic and gross. This was the speech I got one day while wiping my nose. I wasn't going to shake your hand anyway you ungrateful germophobe. I can tell you a lot of guys have a lot worse things on their hands and you shake those. Guys that sneeze into their hands and shake the lumpy bits that come out.

Or guys that wipe after a nice number two and then don't wash their hands afterwards. Hell my snotty nose is the very least of your problems right now. Go put on some latex gloves or harden up princess. This is Africa

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