Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Sunburn sucks

It really does. When I was born I was blessed with a milky white skin that is so white it almost looks green. It also is very afraid of the sun. If it sees the sun it blushes and goes red.

Yup I have one of those skins where if I'm in the sun for longer than 20 minutes it starts going pink, and less than 20 minutes it doesn't do anything because I am so white that the sun just reflects Off of me. I have found that sunblock does prevent me from burning but also prevents me from going any darker.

It is just unfair that some people can just go into the sun, no sunblock and come back with a tan. There are also some that are pink like me but the next day when they wake up, they look like they have come straight out of India!

It's so unfair and i hate you all. Share some of your ‘get brown’ skills with the rest of us. Sunburn really sucks. Ok so some of you don’t know how it feels, let me try and describe it for you. It feels like all the moisture has been sucked out of your skin and it now has the elasticity of a prune. 

As if that's not bad enough when you put a shirt on over it, it feels like someone has lined the inside of your shirt with a million tiny monkeys all equipped with scissor fingers like Edward and then told the tiny scissor equipped monkeys to go ape on anything that touches them. 

Then after a few days of agonizing monkey scissor finger scratches and prune like mobility then you start itching. It's like the monkeys have traded in their tiny scissor fingers for itchy powder. A constant source of itching occurs, and you can't stop scratching. Then the skin starts coming off and it looks like you have permanent dandruff, so bad that it's falling onto your pants.

Your bed also looks terrible. It's as if some sick sadistic person crossed a permanently malting dog with a skin shedding snake and then let that snake-dog roll around in your bed. It's disgusting. Now you know what we go through every time we look like lobsters on the beach. Please stop tempting us with more sun and saying it's not so bad.

It really is that bad, really. I promise.