My crappy friends

The title is the sentence each of you reading this post will be saying when I'm done. You think you are laughing now, but just wait. Right now you are thinking about a few friends which are your a-grade pals. Just so that you can compare. Well here goes, my friends are pure a-holes. Yup they kick you when you are down; they find a weakness and attack it.

You're confused, i can tell. Well as hostile as this might seem it’s harmless. It's just enough to make you feel like they love you. Ok actually it's just because we like taking cheap shots. Then what is it that makes them awesome?

After a lot of thinking about why I feel this way, I came to a few conclusions. They are as close as family, but not the family you loathe, they are the one cousin that you do like, except there is a whole bunch of them.

They are my friends and would do anything for me. They will always take my side, and will never talk crap about me behind my back. Maybe that's why we kick each other when we are down. So we never feel like there is something we can't say.

Then if someone is talking smack about me behind my back and they hear it they always come up for me. They will take a punch for me and will always be willing to help when I'm in need. And not the ‘Yeah ok I'll help’ it's the ‘Why didn't you phone me first so I could help you’ type.

Once I was stranded at work. I asked a friend who was 80km away for a lift, without hesitation she said sure, I'm still at work, but I'll leave early and come get you and take you home. And then I know after this she would have to drive home again

Not many people would do that. But my friends would. I have a friend who got me a good job, 3 times already. I have another friend who is more concerned about my health and well being than I am. I have another friend who can talk his way out of anything, and would talk me out of anything in a heartbeat if I asked.

There’s another guy who will do anything i ask, just because that's what he does for friends. These are just a few of my inner circle. These are just a select few out of my awesome group. I would pick you condescending, foul mouthed, kick me when I’m down, mock my insecurities people over some prissy ‘I’m really nice to you when you are around but talk smack behind your back when you aren’t here’ friends any day.

You guys mean the world to me, and life would not be the same without you guys, very dull boring and mundane. Just one thing, if you are one of the few i mentioned you better not be one of the people reading the title now.

So come on now. I know you’re jealous. Read the title to yourself. My crappy friends.