Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The defecation stare

The defecation stare is the look you get from any person that sees you going into a stall to go take a poo. Why are you looking at me like that! It's not like you don't empty your bowels? Why then are you looking at me like I'm about to commit a very unholy sin!
Given that what i am going to do to the toilet now is going to be very violent and illegal in some countries, still doesn't give you the right to stare at me like that! Instead of being so judgmental get into the stall next door and challenge me to a battle.

‘No that's gross’ or ‘I don't defecate in front of other people’ is the kind of thing you expect to hear from a typical person that stares, or ‘No, i don't make a noise when i poo.’ Really man, really? That’s half the fun. Seeing how loud you can make the splash, or that amazing plonking sound. 
I want to see if i can sink them all. Come on people. Why are we all so scared of something that every person does? It's not like you are the only one that has one. Have you ever walked into a bathroom, and heard a blood curdling scream coming from one of the stalls, and found yourself thinking, ‘I wish I knew what that guy ate, because then I could also make such awesomeness.’

Stop thinking about it as something taboo, or a terrible thing, its natural, and should be practiced anywhere that you get the chance, except (and these are the only two exceptions) if the toilet seat is still warm from the guy before, because that’s just weird, or if the seat is so dirty that no matter how much you scrub it, it doesn’t come clean. So just let it out and stop being such a hoity-toity uptown 'i care what other people think' whiny bitch!

No comments:

Post a Comment