Friday, December 3, 2010

A Zen Garden

A place of peace and tranquility, where you can set your mind at ease, shrug off all the cares of the world and learn to be happy with the inner you. Right, so now that all the hippy bull and Chinese feng-shui has been said, how is it possible for a tiny plant or a pit of pretty sand to make you feel at peace with yourself and the world?

I’m no Gandhi, but I’m not in such self-turmoil that I need to hear someone tell me a plant will make me feel better! Or if my sand is correctly aligned and the flow of the sand is correct that it will clear all the bad feelings and ideas out of me. The sand will make my soul feel at ease – but how.

Could it be that the sand has mystical powers, that it was scooped up from the earth, and then all the pure pieces are sorted by hand, by monks from the great monastery in Thailand? Then after the pure pieces have been sifted out, they get little Jewish boys to cry on the sand and make it holy with their tears.

Or could it be that someone in the Far East saw an opportunity to pull a fast one on over eager westerners that are always seeking new ways to get spiritual cleanliness and self-peace. How good a liar must you be to pull that scheme off? “Sir this sand will make your life pure, you will experience happiness and peace. All you have to do is buy tons of it, at a ridiculous price, put it in your garden and then brush it into pretty patterns.”

How could someone be standing on the other end of this conversation and be thinking to himself “Wow that’s amazing sand, I need 12 tons, at least!” I wish I could’ve been there to slap him on the back of his head and ask him if he is retarded! How can sand clear your soul. If you are searching for inner peace stop beating your wife, and stop cheating on her with your secretary.

Stop stepping on people to get ahead in life and stop being such a dishonest prick. Then you may have the inner peace you are searching for. No amount of pseudo-sand can give you that inner peace.


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