Thursday, November 25, 2010

Bathroom etiquette

So I’m in the bathroom doing my usual business and in waltzes a guy and occupies the stall next to me, nothing unusual, except then his phone starts singing, and what does Mr Popular do? He answers it. I just thought you’ve got to be kidding me! Is this guy really taking a call while he is busy taking a dump?

How drastically must you want to take a call if you are willing to do so while on the toilet? Could that call not have waited 5 minutes? Or were you scared that you might have to phone back and risk using up your airtime for it. There are so many things wrong with this I don’t even know where to start.

Firstly it’s just plain rude to answer your phone while you are busy taking a gargantuan dump or even if you are just urinating. It’s basically the same as slapping someone in the face, and then asking them for a lift home. It’s inconsiderate and obnoxious.

Secondly, we know what you are doing. It’s not a big secret. Everybody knows that if there is a massive echo, you are in the bathroom, not in a long passage or in a church. We can even hear you moaning and groaning, and then saying “ahhh” when you’re done, hell we can even hear the “plop” into the water.

Thirdly, at least you could have the decency to mute the phone when you flush the toilet, and wash your hands when you are done. Because I heard you continue talking while you flushed and then just walked straight out of the bathroom.

Maybe you think that you are an important person and that without you the world will fall apart, or if you don’t answer your phone Bill Gates will have to restart the internet, or Mark Zuckerberg won’t know what other security features to put into Facebook, but let’s face it, if you are taking calls in the toilet you can’t be that important!

“Don't overestimate the decency of the human race. “ - H. L. Mencken


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